Last time I slept, I posted a hot girl pic and got a community guideline slap. Let’s see what happens this time.
Yesterday. Got into bed at 3pm, crying.
Called my mom (on her birthday) at 5pm, crying.
I’ve been told by a few mentors that “leaders don’t cry in public or admit weakness”.
Just like I told my members in our group chat, I was once again borderline suicidal yesterday (was the worst it’s been since 2019 when I went nearly 3 weeks without more than 2 hours a night) and was fortunate to have support.
I also said, “I will never apologize for being authentic and standing in my truth”.
This isn’t “the art of war”. I’m not at battle with anyone but myself. People need to understand each other better.
Have adult conversations.
If men can better understand what women go through with thyroid issues (that butterfly gland is called the master gland for a reason- although plenty of men have diagnosed thyroid conditions, it’s far more of a woman’s issue) and hormones re peri/menopause, and understanding how insanely irrational, depressed, hopeless, angry and out of control we can feel, we might stay closer.
Just as if women can stop shouting at men and using children as weapons in divorce, or not understanding the pressure men feel to measure up, be the rock, unable to share their true feelings and fears, etc. We could more easily unite.
Understand what goes on in a woman’s body when she gets pregnant and why she might not be capable of carrying that seed to life because she’ll take her own.
Instead we fall victim to division. Division of choosing sides instead of coming to one another as humans.
Instead of listening to better understand the other person, we listen to gain advantage or to find a way to be right.
Going through this journey has made me sit back and analyze the feminine and masculine energy and how different our experiences are.
Thinking about how we shut the media and our shouting on social out and start with basics- being better humans to each other.
But one thing is for certain, I can’t be at my best when I haven’t slept.
So remember, the person you might be shouting at online or at the register, could have insomnia.
The woman who takes up two seats on an airplane might have lipodema and no matter what she does, will never “shrink to your perceived suitable”.
The person you cut off in traffic may be a Vietnam Vet with crippling PTSD and no one to talk to- but the voices in his head telling him to end it all.
We truly need each other.
I pray this chapter of my life is over soon so I can get back to joining you empowering and uniting us all.